Today would have been my dad’s 64th birthday. Last week I told myself that I would “refuse” to be sad on his birthday. I would march into the day armed with positive thoughts and my happiest memories. Instead of crying that he is no longer here, I will celebrate how much life he packed into 63 years. But then today arrived and not ten minutes after I arrived at the office tears welled up in my eyes and I reached for the Kleenex. I miss him so much, especially today.
I tried to focus on this:
A picture message he sent me last year on his birthday simply stating “
Good Birthday Cake."
Plain ridiculous; yes, it also made me cry.
Lately I have been listening to music that he liked, I found the WJJY (radio station we listen to up North) playlists I created on my Ipod, but even today The Pointer Sisters “Jump (For My Love),” Matthew Wilder “Break My Stride,” or Katrina and the Waves “Walking on Sunshine” were not putting a smile on my face. But then one of his all time favorites, Steve Winwood (or “Stevie Winwood” as Dad referred to him) “The Finer Things” began to play…
While there is time
Let’s go out and feel everything
If you hold me
I will let you into my dream
For time is a river rolling into nowhere
We must live while we can
And we’ll drink our cup of laughter
I have been thinking about this;
a cup of laughter. I never saw him drink much coffee, but he sure had a thing for mugs. He gave me several as gifts over the years and (along with everything else he gave me) they are now treasured possessions. He always put so much heart into the gifts he gave me. I found myself reluctant at first to continue use them for fear of breaking them, but I’m not holding back anymore because they sure do make me smile.
Here are the “His & Hers Iowa Hawkeye Mugs” that he gave Dan & me. I love it that our names are printed on them. Not only are they retro, what’s mine is clearly mine. I laugh because I am sure he must have spent hours, taking even several different trips to Scheels contemplating this purchase; carefully moving each and every mug with our names off the shelf and examining them inside and out for chips, deformities, and uniformity. I know this, because all purchases were like this for him. I first remember noticing it while shopping for the ever popular
Tretorns as a youth. After the initial sizing, which included standing and sitting with them on while he would indent the gap between the edge of the shoe and my toe repeatedly with his thumb to make sure there was plenty of room to grow, then the firm grip across the top for width clearance, and finally the “walk” back and forth up and down the aisle; yes then it was always followed by the actual examination of the shoes themselves. I don’t know how many times he could roll the soles together matching heel to toe, heel to toe, heel to toe, to make sure they were the same. Fifty would be an exaggeration but fifteen would not. I have come to the conclusion that he must have had a bad experience with a set of shoes that really ticked him off because he didn’t check them close enough before purchasing. Of course after several days of sloppy walking or a painful foot cramp caused from curling his toe to keep his shoe on, only then did he discover one was about ¼” longer than the other. That would tick me off too.
Oh Dad, I wouldn’t have had you any other way! I love knowing that he picked out the perfect pair of mugs just for us.
We recently packed these away because they are our special “Christmas Whoville Mugs.” These he bought for us one autumn, he intended to drop them off at our house in person, to sit down and have a cup of hot chocolate together. For some reason that I can’t recall now, it didn’t happen, but I love the thought just the same. He gave us a set of four and the matching long handled stir spoons. As with many of his gifts, they were just for something fun, just because. I love, love, love them. They are brilliant in color and perfect for hot chocolate - with big marshmallows (I’m sure Dad would agree – mini marshmallows are for wimps). I predict that we will soon celebrate a new family tradition at our house during the Christmas season, watching “The Grinch Who Stole Christmas” together while sipping hot chocolate from these fantastic mugs. Knowing how important family Christmas traditions were to dad, I think this would make him proud.
This little beauty I like to call “You’re Darn Right I’m American.” It sports a bald eagle, several of them actually. It also includes some educational text about bald eagles and the quote “Be proud of nature’s beauty and live your life so that nature may be proud of you.” I only wish I had a pair of
Rex Kwan Do stars and stripes pants to wear each time I use it. I proudly claimed this in what has become our traditional $10 gift exchange among the adults at Christmas. It reminds me of the lake as we have a bald eagle nest on one of our trees along the shoreline of the property. We stop what we are doing to salute and shout for joy when we see the eagle return to its nest. The bonus travel feature of this mug means it can leave the house with me and make me smile at work!
Both nostalgic and miniature, what is not to love about Hannah’s little tin cup from Papa? Size is difficult to gauge from the photo, it is only 2" tall! We have a large tin ladle up at the cabin that hangs on a hook by the sink and is always there for taking a drink out of the faucet. I think his love of the taste of cold water from that ladle over time was transitioned to a metal cup of his own. While his was silver and shiny and hers is blue with speckles, they are made from a similar mold. I love the reminder.
And this little guy, is obviously the most smiley of all. It has traveled with me since my childhood and sat with me for many of my own birthday breakfasts. I don’t think it’s possible for me to take a drink without smiling. I think I’m ready to try it now. Raise your mug with me…
To my dad. We miss you and love you. Happy Birthday!
