christmas in july :: grandpa art

We thought we would start a big landscaping/patio project for the backyard this summer...turns out so far we have been busy enough finishing up stuff in the basement and keeping up with regular home maintenance. In between those things it has been nice to take a little time to finish up some projects that have been sitting for awhile and taking up studio space (I'm happy to report that by the end of summer it should have freshly painted tables and be all ready for hibernation). Here is a peek at one of those projects. I really wanted to blog about it because it was so much fun.

Understanding this project requires a little background information about my Grandpa Art. He was quite a guy. Devoted husband, father, grandfather, great grandfather, and life-long farmer. He lived his faith in so many ways, with a heart as gold as an October field. Not to mention he was the one that helped me discover my ear wiggling talent. I can still feel his hands squeezing the sides of the back of my neck causing my shoulders to lock around my ears and a squirmish smile to appear on my face. When I was a kid we would always go to my grandparent's farm and my nine cousins and two sisters and I would be playing games or eating at the table Grandpa Art would say with a smile "That Amy, she's quiet, but she doesn't miss a thing" which in those awkward adolescent years was such a comforting thing for me to hear. The way I understood it; I love you just the way you are.

I could go on and on, but for many of you, this picture really sums things up nicely.

Grandpa Art & Grandma Ninon Netley

Yep that's him back in the 80's wearing a sweater with a large deer on it accented by his red Christmas tree suspenders. LOVE!

He also loved doing puzzles. You don't see that much these days do ya? When we went through my dad's things, we found a box of puzzles that he acquired after Grandpa passed away. I assume that the ones Dad got from Grandpa would have been the ones he gave him. I don't know this for sure, but I like to think of it that way. I decided it might be fun to have one, so I picked just one of my favorites out of the stack.

puzzle box

1,000 pieces and a vintage style jolly Santa Claus, perfect for one of those times of year that we can't help but miss him a little more, December being a celebration of the birth of Christ, and also Grandpa Art. I say this as serious as can be; Dan and I loved putting this puzzle together. It was super fun! True statement: initially we calculated that Hannah could put together a 100 piece puzzle like nobody's business so we thought we could put a 1,000 piece puzzle together in one night. HA! I know he chuckled about that. It took weeks; many many nights looking and looking and looking at the pieces. Their shapes and colors seem so similar at first glance but a closer look over time shows subtle variations and shading that take time to notice. Initally, we had a large pile of red pieces. In time there were probably about 10 piles of different shades of red. I could almost hear Grandpa whisper look a little closer, that is how your father knows you. I think he would have also appreciated that - no joke - we got to 999 and couldn't find the last piece anywhere. Finally Dan just declared he would lay under the dining room table until he found it (and he did)! 

After finishing, it seemed too special to crumble back into pieces and store in a box. So we bought puzzle glue and Dan made a frame according to my specific canvas-like instructions. We glued the puzzle together first on the top, then used spray adhesive on the back to attach to the front of the box. Dan finished it up with a coat of spray clear coat for cars that he had in the garage (who doesn't?). Now it's all ready for Christmas decorating! I can't wait to swap it out with a different picture and reminisce about Grandpa Art.

::

After someone you love dies, it is so hard to know what to do with their things. You don't want to just let it go like it didn't mean anything to you, but you also don't want to keep everything because it will smother you. In the end what you want is them back, not their things. Easy to say now, but it is so far from easy to let go. I'm proud of us for doing this project because at the heart is remembering who Grandpa was, and keeping his memory alive.

Merry Christmas in July!
amy

There he hangs in all his Christmas glory and what not

canvas-style box frame

look a little closer

these walls

We are nearly done.  A project that began near the end of April 2005. Lord knows there are still plenty of things on the "I'd Like To" or "When We Have Extra Time/Money" lists, but we are calling it done with the hope of a few upgrades in the next year in a few years ......eh, someday.

You may have guessed I'm talking about our house. It all began with an empty lot and a hole. And a couple of crazy young married kids. First time homeowners, first time home builders. Why not?  

Dan has worked so hard to custom build it exactly how I want it. That is far from easy when you are dealing with an art major having a strong attention to detail...not to mention her head in the clouds. I know how quickly many contractors labeled my cell number with the tag "do not answer" (right Chad)?

We moved into our house in October of 2005.  I specifically remember Green Day "Wake Me Up When September Ends" on repeat both on the radio and in our worn out little hearts. After moving in we spent many years customizing closets, hanging crown moulding, and repainting (isn't it just hilarious how different paint samples look on the card under florescent lighting at Home Depot vs. your own interior walls?  It's just plain hil.ar.i.ous, isn't it honey?). Then we had a baby and then another which sparked the flame to finish the basement. That was two years ago. We knew it was inevitable as soon as we heard those magical three words "it's a boy" and our spare bedroom that we frequently use for guests became AJ's bedroom. Anyone notice that it took about 5 months to build our entire house and 2 years to finish a basement? KIDS. In the past few months as we have been finishing the final details on the basement I have thought often about just what finishing this house means to us.  

We both come from families having parents that divorced when we were in college, and as a result of the divorces the houses that each of us grew up in were sold. I lived in that house for my entire life, Dan for the majority of his grade school years. I believe we both have made the best of those dramatic life changes and tantrums on the matter seem to have subsided. As we finish things up, I can't help but let my mind go back to that change and how much it means that we both have a house we truly call "home."

Since my parents split I have always hated the expression "Home Is Where Your Heart Is." Nope, you won't find that cross-stitched on any throw pillows or hand painted in mauves and blues on any plaques in my house. Maybe it's just me, but something seems to be missing from the expression. It sounds like something someone that hasn't lost a home would say. Knowing with certainty that family is most important, would it be ok for just this post to recognize that your home is more than just a place? Is it possible to remember your childhood home without feeling some type of longing, just as you would for a person?

I believe this song speaks about what is missing from the expression. It could be because I grew up in the 80's and my dad played Amy Grant all the time, I don't know but this song has never been far from my memories of home. But now as I hear this song, instead of sadness, anger, or regret over 4601 Meadow Lane, I smile picturing this house that we built.  And I imagine our walls already have a few stories to tell.

~amy

If These Walls Could Speak

Songwriter: Jimmy Webb

Artist: Amy Grant

If these old walls, if these old walls could speak
Of things that they remember well
Stories and faces dearly held

A couple in love livin' week to week
Rooms full of laughter
If these walls could speak

If these old halls, hallowed halls could talk
These would have a tale to tell
Of sun goin' down and dinner bell
And children playing at hide and seek from floor to rafter

If these halls could speak
They would tell you that I'm sorry
For bein' cold and blind and weak
They would tell you that it's only
That I have a stubborn streak
If these walls could speak

If these old fashioned window panes were eyes
I guess they would have seen it all
Each little tear and sigh and footfall
And every dream that we came to seek or followed after

If these walls could speak
They would tell you that I owe you
More than I could ever pay
Here's someone who really loves you
Don't ever go away
That's what these walls would say

They would tell you that I owe you
More than I could ever pay
Here's someone who really loves you
Don't ever go away
That's what these walls would say

That's what these walls would say
That's what these walls would say

if i could wrap all of those i love in a quilt :: shelby

matthew 5:16

in the same way let your light shine before others, so that they may see your good works and give glory to your Father who is in heaven

this quilt was a high school graduation gift for my niece shelby. i wanted to wrap her in summer and give her a tangible reminder of matthew 5:16.  included is one unique square that has "let your light shine" printed on it and also 5 orange squares and 16 pink squares from her grandpa jim's chambray dress shirts. the cross pattern was inspired here - always love her use of simple patchwork squares.  the quilting is also very simple diagonal lines and the aqua thread color really looks nice on the white (sheet) backing. i used very thin batting, making it a perfect comfort for summer picnics or star gazing.

congratulations shelby! 

i heart this picture my sister sent me of her sleeping under it!
graduating is hard work! 

...and now I officially want to take a nap on a quilt in the grass in the sun.

amy

it's you i like

We are checking out at Target a couple days ago. I'm trying to keep AJ from falling out of the back of the cart and as usual I'm thinking of the next thing, which happens to be lunch. It may be an hour away, but it's that rush where I know that all events need to proceed in a timely and orderly fashion to get out of the store, get the bags in the car, get everyone buckled up, get home, and get food on the little plastic plates before everyone is literally screaming for food while at the same time melting. And that moment, when I'm lifting AJ out of the cart is when Hannah hits me with it:

"Why does God make bad people?"

And only by the grace of God I had (what I think was) the right answer. Here are the words God gave me to say:

God doesn't make bad people. God gives people a choice, and sometimes they make bad decisions.

And that was about it. Pretty simple, right? We talked a little more about it, I made sure she understood, and that was about it. She didn't bring it up again, but it weighed on me. What is the matter with people?

If you know me well, you probably know I am pretty fond of Mr. Rogers. When I was feeling really nostalgic last fall I found that eBay had some dvd's available of the old school Mister Rogers Neighborhood (which imo is far superior to Daniel Tiger's Neighborhood) and thought it might be fun to buy one and watch it with them. Was I surprised that they l.o.v.e. it? Not really (because Mister Rogers is cool). Am I surprised that they frequently choose to watch it without me suggesting it? Yes. And no (because Mister Rogers is cool).

I don't really remember much about Mr. Rogers from when I was a kid outside of him coming through the door and changing into one of his seriously cool cardigans and comfy shoes. I respect him and his show so much more now as a parent. His ability to talk to kids with a gentle voice, show them new things in a way that makes them imagine, or relate to others in a new way, and how he could talk to them about their feelings, in a way that children's shows won't can't  don't now.

Let's face it, I don't even want to watch the news much these days, and I'm not even all that fond of facebook anymore. It's so easy to get caught up in the bad or worry about things that don't matter. I was out on a run a couple of weeks ago and I was reminded what power is generated from smiling at someone (a complete stranger) and what immediately crossed my mind was "that's so much better than a facebook like."  Smiling comes out of habit, but how often do I deliberately smile at someone?

As I watched an old school episode of Mr. Rogers with my kids yesterday I was reminded how simple yet powerful the message "It's you I like." (click the link to hear Mr. Rogers sing it!!) Taking time to look at them and tell them how much I love them, every part about them, just the way they are is so essential.  It's not just for kids, sharing this message is as easy as smiling at anyone!

Share a deliberate smile today!

It's you I like, It's not the things you wear, It's not the way you do your hair-- But it's you I like. The way you are right now, The way down deep inside you-- Not the things that hide you, Not your toys-- They're just beside you. But it's you I like-- Every part of you, Your skin, your eyes, your feelings Whether old or new. I hope that you'll remember Even when you're feeling blue That it's you I like, It's you yourself, It's you, it's you I like.

It's You I Like By Fred M. Rogers © 1970

the day our little girl was born...5 years ago today!

3.27.08

I woke up at 12:00am and had to go to the bathroom - that’s when I realized that my water broke!  I called to your dad from the bathroom and told him it was time to go to the hospital.  He answered “Really?” from bed and although he was still half asleep I could tell he was excited!  Then all of the sudden he started to panic about getting things packed for the hospital.  I was the calm one.  “Honey” I said “I already packed our bags - we just need to put them in the car.”  We called the hospital, told Max good-bye and we were on our way. 

The first thing we did on the way was call Aunt Mel and our friend Christina.  They were going to be in the room with us when you were born because Aunt Mel needed to be part of a delivery for nursing school class credit, and we needed another person to help in case your dad wasn’t able to make it through the delivery.  Christina would be there if your dad passed out!  We told them not to get up and come to the hospital yet but to go back to sleep since it would be a long day.

one

When we got to the hospital they checked us into triage, an area where they monitor your contractions and make sure that your water actually did break.  I’m not sure who lies about that sort of thing, or isn’t absolutely sure when it happens?  After a couple hours had passed the nurse came back and told us that indeed labor had begun and we would be getting checked into a room.  She walked us down to the corner room at the end of the hallway and we started to get settled.  The room was called a “delivery suite” because you would be born in the room and then they would clean up everything and we would stay in the same room for a couple days recovering.

We weren’t in the room long when the door opened and in walked Aunt Mel.  We were surprised to see her show up so soon – she told us that after we talked to her there was no way she could go back to sleep…she was too excited!  Aunt Mel had thought of everything; snacks, juice, toys and books, everything we needed to get us through the day!  It was so nice to have her there to help us relax.  As a mom and an experienced nurse she knew what to do - I felt like I had my own personal labor attendant!

 

two

The nurse told us that they would continue to monitor my progression and in the meantime walking around would be a good idea if I felt up to it.  I did, so we walked up and down the hallways stopping at the nursery each time to peek at all of the tiny newborn babies.  I couldn’t believe that we were about to have one of our own.  We decided that the bright neon pink hat would be our choice if we had a girl!  After awhile my contractions seemed to be getting stronger so we went back to the room.  I thought I might try to tough it out, but the more I had, the more I was pretty sure that I would need to get the epidural.  That was confirmed when the first doctor on duty came in and looked at the tape printing on the machine monitoring how strong and frequent my contractions were and said “Not much going on here, huh?”  “Um, WHAT?!  That just felt like someone twisted my insides like a wet washcloth!!” I thought.  Luckily her shift was almost over because I thought that was a pretty insensitive comment for a doctor to make to a pregnant patient in labor!  I knew then if what I had been feeling were only mild contractions that I wouldn’t be able to handle the strong ones without the epidural.

After checking me and monitoring my progress for awhile, the doctor determined that my water had not completely broken.  At this time they decided to put an internal monitor and break my water again.  Ouch!  After that, I was ready for the epidural.  I was scared, but anxious not to feel the pain of the contractions.  Once the medicine started to work, I couldn’t feel anything below my waist – no more contractions!  It was heavenly!  At this time they also started giving me Pitosin to also help things progress.

 

three

When the shifts changed around 7:00am the next doctor and delivery nurse came in to introduce themselves.  This was just shortly after I had the epidural.  The doctor’s name was Dr. Bedia; he would be the one to deliver you.  He said that things were starting to progress and that I would probably deliver you around 3:00pm.  I found it ironic after all of those prenatal doctor visits that I would have a doctor that I hadn’t seen before, but it didn’t matter to me because I immediately liked him and his personality.  He told us that he was going to go do some reading on how to deliver a baby and said that he would see us later on.  Ha ha!  He was very funny.  I was relieved that our new doctor and nurse were very good and both were going to be great help during the delivery.  We called our family to give them the update and told them that we would keep them posted but it would still be awhile before you were born.

four

Next thing we knew it was time for the 8:00am check and the nurse said that I was fully dilated and we would start pushing soon.  “What?”  Your dad and I both looked at each other and had the same look on our faces “It’s happening now?!”  We were both surprised because we thought that we still had a half a day or longer of sitting around waiting.  So then your dad had to call everyone back and say “Never mind, it’s happening now!”  Our nurse then paged the doctor and began getting everything ready for the baby.

Soon Dr. Bedia came back in the room with a surprised look on his face and said “But I only got through Chapter 1 of my book!”  That made us laugh!  Then almost immediately the room started filling up with all kinds of bright lights, equipment, and nurses.  Just as we were about to start doing the big pushes, Christina burst through the door.  I was so glad that she made it in time!  Aunt Mel and Christina stood on both sides of me to help me push and your dad sat right up by my face so that he wouldn’t get queasy. 

I wondered how in the world this would work since I didn’t feel like I had much energy from lack of sleep and then also because my legs and entire lower body were numb.  But everyone helped me because they could tell when I was having a contraction by looking at the monitor and would tell me when it was time to push and when to just relax.  I pushed hard again and again using the breathing techniques that they taught me in our Lamaze classes.  It wasn’t too long and Dr. Bedia said to stop pushing for a minute because you were ready to come out.

five!

Dr. Bedia cut the umbilical cord free because it had started to wrap around your neck a little and with one last push you came out.  We could hear crying and then all of the sudden Dr. Bedia announced “It’s a girl!” and he layed you on my chest.  Mommy and daddy started crying because we were so happy to see you in person and know that you were ok.  Mommy was especially proud of your dad - he made it through the whole thing without fainting and even had the courage to watch you come out!  You were such a beautiful baby!  Everyone in the room just stood in awe of you, all witnesses to our little miracle – our precious baby girl.

a seasonal bookshelf

While the weather is still plenty cold and snow covers the ground, thoughts of spring happily enter my mind.  Isn't February ironically always the longest month of the year?  Thank goodness it's March!  I'm ready to get out of the house, breathe some fresh air, and feel my feet hit the pavement.  

I am staying as busy as I can with things to do around the house because I know that when the nice weather hits, we will be outside as much as possible.  I get so involved with new projects (isn't there always a better way to organize something?) sometimes I forget about old ones that are working great - as is.

We have been using this bookshelf for almost 3 years now (and AJ has yet to climb it...which would potentially almost certainly break a dowel rod)  At the time we designed the playroom, I showed Dan a few photos and being the amazingly talented husband that he is, he whipped this up in no time.  It fills in wall space in the playroom nicely without looking heavy, sticking out very far, or taking up precious floor space.  The bright colors from children's books coordinate nicely with the rest of the playroom (maybe I'll post some pictures when it's clean?)  I love it.  

But what I love most is seeing my kids take books off the shelf and sit down to read or bring them to me to read.  It's great! We keep board books near the bottom for AJ and nicer ones toward the top for Hannah.  We have quite a collection of kids books going now which is fun because we can rotate the books in the playroom seasonally.  Today we dug through the books and found as many with bunnies and chicks and spring colors as we could.  Yay for Spring...it's almost here!

happy 66th birthday dad

Today I brewed a cup to celebrate my dad in my birthday mug.  (remember this post?)  I wasn't going to smile.  But then this just happened out of nowhere:

I couldn't help it.  A smile appeared just as those tears slid down my cheeks and dripped off my chin.  He would have thought that was funny.  I mean whipped cream hair?  How does one not laugh at that.  More importantly he would want me to smile.

There are some days when I miss him more, and today is just one of those days.  I think it always will be.  I feel a sadness that is so consuming it feels as if someone were sitting on my chest and I can't breathe.  

But...I allow myself to truly feel this overwhelming sadness, and what comes next is an overwhelming joy.  I go through an old box of things that are mine, that my dad saved.  Things that I gave him. Like this card.  There are Hallmark stickers on it dated 1983, I was 6.  

A book I gave him titled "Why a Daughter Needs a Dad" and written in the cover:

(And one of my  favorite reasons:

"A daughter needs a dad so she will know what it is like to be somebody's favorite.")

And of course, there are photos.

One of our first.  My dad, age 30, so handsome.

Here he is happily making the world's best pancakes.

Teaching me to fish at the lake.

Here he is playing in the snow with his dad.  It just seems so fitting this time of year.

And now it's time to raise your mug, whatever it be, and whatever be inside:

we send up a toast

to a life well spent

to memories we cherish

until we meet again 

we miss you

we love you  

happy birthday dad!

a barn and a stable for christmas

We took a break from basement work in December and worked on a little handmade toy project for the kids.  A barn for AJ, a stable for Hannah.  When we came up with the idea to make a gift for each of them we knew right away that AJ needed a barn.  It was a little more difficult to decide what to do for Hannah; originally we thought maybe dollhouse but the idea didn't seem to fit.  Then totally out of the blue she told me that she would like "some horses and fences and stuff to play with."  The stable idea was born!  It was fun to work together to design coordinating pieces and also use up some of that scrap wood in the garage.  So happy with the result and the kids were thrilled!